A Reflection... v.II

My journey through the ravaged landscape of melancholic depression took a turn for the better early this year. I was involved in an accident. While crossing the sliproad into the Pan-Island Expressway, a SUV sped towards me upon seeing me. It didn't matter that i was already on the road with my bicycle, nor did it matter that it was a zebra crossing and i had the right of way!

The horror of seeing impending danger coming hurling towards you and being powerless to prevent it really hits you in your guts. My whole body went numb with fright and i felt a chill run down my spine. Thankfully, the driver pulled his brakes in time. However, the taxi behind did not.. Tires screamed as the taxi-driver belatedly tried to defy inertia. A loud crash followed and the SUV propelled forward, grazing my legs. I have no idea what possessed me to calmly pick up my bicycle and ride off, as if the accident had not happened. all the time i was pedalling, my legs, and indeed my whole body, trembled like a wobbling jelly.

The accident caused a perceptible change in my thinking. Of course occassionally i still felt depressed. Some things cannot be erased by a mere accident. However i started to react positively to criticisms and even in a crisis, i could keep a cool head and not go into spasms or hyperventilate. It was really refreshing!! As time went on, i became more confident and i started to engage myself in outdoor activities that challenged me physically and mentally such as rapelling and climbing rope courses.

I guess what i want to say is this - no matter how alone you may feel, no matter how difficult the odds, don't give in to despair and melancholy. you will be amazed at the resillence of the human spirit and at the power of thinking positively. please do not alienate yourself from others and shut yourself off to the world. Do not forget that when you build these "walls" to protect yourself, ultimately, you seal yourself in and become trapped with all that pent-up emotions!!